What Could Have Been
by JESSting123
Summary: What if Luka and Abby broke up two weeks before the trip to Oklahoma? What if Abby had slept with Carter while dating Luka? A what if story with a Carby lover's dream ending.
1. Before Oklahoma

"I can't find the key!" he was tired and angry. She had promised to meet him at Doc Magoo's after her shift. Instead she went with him. He hated John Carter. He and Abby were supposedly "just friends." If they were just friends then why did they follow each other around like lost puppies? Each of them had given up all communication with their mates. Rarely did he see his girlfriend nor Abby see him. He was just seconds away from loosing his patience again when her phone rung. _It had better not be him or I'll scream._ Were his exact thoughts. That is exactly what he did. When the word Carter came out of her mouth he fired. She jumped back quickly.

He was slamming his fists into the side tables and knocked at least two lamps over.

"Can you not go one night without speaking to him?"Luka screamed obviously enraged.

"I'm sorry Luka, I just thought we could all go out to dinner like a double-date,"she explained,"Rena has been in New York with her mom and dad for a few days, and she just got back, I didn't figure you'd mind."

"Well I do mind. You saw him all day and went to lunch with him, what more could you want from him?" he asked his rage slowly building.

"From him, well we're friends I thought two friends and they're girlfriend and boyfriend could go to have some dinner, but if you mind that much maybe I should leave," she stated.

"Fine go, Carter can have you,"he yelled.

"Good I will go, I'm not sure where so don't bother calling my cell or anyone to figure it out. By the way, I've slept with Carter just so there are no secrets now that we're over,"she said and stormed off. Her cell still up to her ear, he heard her say,"yeah, I guess he knows now," and it was over.

He stood there dumbfounded. What the hell? He thought, my life is done, it's over the one hood thing I had and I ruined it. So, he found the key, opened the door, lay down, and had the worst night's sleep he'd had in years.


	2. A Call To Carter

Abby sat on her couch a beer in hand.

The liquid slowly burnt her throat as it seeped down. She didn't care anymore about her health or life.

After she had left Luka's house she had called Carter; Rena answered. She thought he had broken up with her. She had planned on doing the same thing that night with Luka but hadn't gotten the chance. They had arranged to do it on the same night so they could make a clean brake.

The conversation she had had with herself many times was, "Why Abby? Why stay alive? You have no life."

During those times she had always been drunk.

She was drunk now.

The idea's coming from the one-way conversation were becoming appealing - she walked into her bathroom trying to decide on which new tactic to try.

Drugs overdose?

Alcohol induced coma?

Drowning, perhaps?

_I could always try a combination_, she thought.

_Turn on the water, grab another beer, pop a bottle of pills, take a knife to he wrists and throw myself in the water. _

At this moment in time she was desperate enough to try anything. She hated life. She hated her work. She hated her friends. But mostly, she hated herself.

It sounded perfect at the time, until someone's face filled her mind - Carter.

Was he still with Rena or was he telling her tonight? She never thought of that.

Maybe she wouldn't do any of those things. Maybe there still was a chance to rectify the situation. Maybe things weren't so bad after all.

_This calls for a call to Carter._

"John Carter, please," she stated to the maid on the other line of the phone.

"Just a moment dear," she answered with a very British accent.

"Hello," a confused and drowsy Carter said into the phone.

"John, did I wake you?" Abby said suddenly worried about the time.

"Well, yea but that's okay, what's up?" he asked genuinely worried from the sound of her obviously drunk voice.

"Could you come over, please?" she asked a little worried he might say no considering the time and that Rena still may be over.

"Sure give me half an hour and I'll be there," he said, and then, there was a click.

Abby sat, broken beer bottles all around her, waiting for the knock at the door.


	3. When He's There

**This is basically the beginning of a big part of the story. Some fluff but not all. Just read and review.**

After a few minutes the sleep that had succumbed her was taking over. She was absolutely worn out. For only a few minutes she had rested in a deep but restless slumber.

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door, loud enough to rouse her from the dreamless sleep. She rose from her broken in spot on the couch and made her way to the door before quickly unlocking the several locks she had in place.

"Carter, I need to talk to you," she declared barely whispering, not allowing her visitor to even make himself known. He had no need to do that, she knew him well enough.

"Yea, we need to talk," he agreed.

"Sit down with me?" she asked him in a soft weak voice.

"What's up Abs?" he questioned joining he on the couch.

Somewhere in his mind he registered the warmth which indicated that she had not vacated that spot long before he sat down. However his mind was too preoccupied with other things to really register the thought.

"Carter, did you do what you said you were going to do?" she asked, wringing her hands in a nervous manner.

"Huh?" He couldn't help but wonder aloud. _Why does she have to be so cryptic? This isn't Abby, not my Abby. _

"Did you and Rena break up?' she restated the question. The answer to this question depended on whether or not she told him the real reason for her sudden eagerness to talk with him at this unreasonable hour.

"What, of course we did. I broke up with her earlier this morning," he explained. He couldn't help but wondering why she would doubt his promise. He would never break a promise to her; he wouldn't do anything to hurt her. She had been hurt so many times in the past he was determined to never cause her any more pain.

"Good, but, then why'd she answer your phone this evening?" she asked questioning his response. If they had broken up then she wouldn't be answering his phone. _He had better have a good reason for this_, she thought.

"She was getting her stuff Abs. What are you asking me this for?" he was bewildered at her questions. Did she not trust him?

"I just, Luka and I broke up too." she stuttered.

"Good, that's really good Abby; just like we planned. Things are going well for us. We had a bad beginning; certainly not the best of stats but this is like a new beginning for us. A clean slate, I suppose. Now, why did you seem so hesitant about asking me that?"

She was acting really weird and right now he could read her emotions like a book. She was scared and he didn't know why.

"I didn't know if you really… really, uh, loved me…" she trailed off it was not natural for her to be so blunt and open with her feelings but something about Carter just put her at ease about things like this - things which would have been touchy, hard to broach subjects with others. It felt good to get it off her chest

"Of course I do, Abby. I love you, I always will, and to be completely honest, ever since you turned me in for my drug abuse, I've loved you in a way," he said expressing his emotions was something that wasn't hard for him especially with Abby, "You've helped me so much, Abby, and I owe you everything. I love you more than I could ever hope to tell you.

"Good, I feel the same way about you Carter. I love you, I really do, I always will," she was opening up in a way she never had before, she could almost feel tears pricking her eyelids at the soppiness of the situation but it wasn't like Abby to cry over something like this. She'd wasted enough of he tears n lost causes already, she could bear to shed no more.

Abby tried, and failed dismally, to suppress a yawn. Smiling, Cater wrapped his arms firmly around her, pulling her into his chest. He loved her and he never wanted to let her go, he wanted to protect her against the entire evil still yet to come. He hadn't been there through some of the worst times in her life so now he was determined to fill the rest of it with better moments and memories. Gently she snuggled her head against his torso, letting the rhythmic beating of his heart lull her to sleep. Within a few moments she was sleeping, her fingers intertwined with his, dead to the world and all it's pain.


End file.
